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[08 Jun 2006|01:43am] |
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holy shit i forgot i had this thing.
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[03 Dec 2005|06:39pm] |
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mood |
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 heartbroken. |
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and maybe this is what needed to happen for me to make some real decisions for myself. i need to stop worrying about what im missing out on and start focusing on what i need to do.
my friends are in 3 groups:
1)currently extremely pissed off at me and dont want to talk to me, period.
2)mad at me but will get over it and are currently talking to me.
3)probably a little irked but will still be there for me no matter what.
ladies- youre in group 3.
and it seems that everyone else i considered my friend is in group 1.
i can name ONE person that has talked to me since thursday.
and no one has called me to make sure i was alrite at home.
so im heartbroken and i need to see pam and steph.
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[02 Dec 2005|05:45am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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bubbles |
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i saw him tonite.
he asked me why i "hated him"
i said i didnt.
but the more appropriate question wouldve been why "dont i hate him"
i could never.
and im not sure really anyone knows quite who this is.
and im postive that its better that way.
there are so many things about him that make me goosebump.
and all thosed goosebumps are reminders of how ill never be good enough for him.
that seems the reigning theme.
not good enough.
i'll get over it and find something new to infatuate myself with.
on the drive home i was listening to the spill canvas...screaming out the lines and tears streaming down my face.
im sure i frightened every car i passed.
i spun around twice in the middle of the highway between cars.
not a scratch on me or my car.
and somehow i was dissapointed...looking for some kind of confirmation.
time for a new tattoo.
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[23 Nov 2005|01:17am] |
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okay ladies. i seriously just now got home from work. because im the "newbie" i get to do all the bitch work no one else wants to do...which meant i got to stay past 11 (when i shouldve gotten off) to paint. boooo to that. if you girls get this text/call/do something because i would love to do a repeat of that summer afternoon that i like to call the best day of my life...and i think you BOTH know what im talking about. -k-?!? loveyoubothbye.
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| im a wishful thinker....and it fucks me over. |
[12 Nov 2005|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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music |
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none- i cant listen to what i want without thinking of you. |
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who the fuck do you think you are?!?! If you EVER do anything for me again....i want it to be jumping off a bridge into a rocky carrene. kthanksgoodbyenevertalktomeagain.
people like you are the reason i drink myself into oblivion.
you've ruined all of my favorite songs for me....
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[08 Nov 2005|10:22pm] |
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cancel my subscription because i'm over your issues.
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[03 Nov 2005|12:51am] |
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mood |
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 smiley! |
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music |
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amber pacific |
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I'm in a very happy mood. I think I'm always in good moods on Wed. because I know whats coming up. This weekend is especially fantastic though!
tomorrow- bar...pry my favorite night of the week.
friday- Hills birthday party...which will be most def. insane.
saturday- tailgating then immediatley leaving to go to the Saves The Day, Senses Fail, The Ealy November and Say Anything show with Miss Pamela Alger. Im so stoked. YaY!
I saw an episode of That 70's Show and Eric was talking about how he was just going to take a year off...no plans, no work. nothing. like some kids do when they take a year off to just travel europe or something...just no travelling involved. anyways, i got scared that its too similar to my life as of currently. So, as sad as it is to say, I got a wake up call from an episode of That 70's Show. And if that's what makes me think....i think im in some big trouble here.
or it could just be because im stoned. either or.
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[25 Oct 2005|12:24pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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self conclusion-spill canvas |
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I miss pam. and steph. a lot.
ive recently become very unhappy with my appearances. i need something drastic to pick me up. this could probably be thanks to my mother who has felt the need to tell me how bad i look every day lately. thanks ma.
I woke up today and i just feel like i need to get my life back in place. if i had never left central in the first place...i'd be a.okay. so, until my return....i have to do something with my life besides take stupid classes i dont need and work a part time job.
im just very upset with myself in almost every way possible.
and i cry all the time.
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| yes im fickle, get over it. |
[18 Oct 2005|11:54pm] |
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mood |
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 over it. |
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music |
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the audition |
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I was just reading my past entries and decided to re-instate my lj updating...if only for the sole purpose to drunk update because i read my last drunk update and it mightve been the funniest thing ever. "music: lots and lost of musics" hahaha i figure i can entertain a few people at least....assuming i dont black out/pass out before i get to a computer because i seem to black out 2/3 of every night i drink.
plus its kinda therapuetic to vent stuff on here.
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[10 Oct 2005|11:13pm] |
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wait, i spoke too soon. i have something else to say before i offically retire from thie lj business
:::::GET OVER YOURSELF!:::::
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| to be completely honest... |
[10 Oct 2005|05:48pm] |
i feel like a very huge waste of space lately. not deserving of friends or fun. my life has no direction or purpose besides getting very very drunk as often as possible.
im over lj. no more from me.
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| lying is the most fun... |
[28 Sep 2005|11:28pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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music |
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Panic! at the Disco |
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im in love with panic! at the disco.
and i am quite willing to kill someone for two tickets to the g.rap show with them.
central this weekend. duh. im NOT going to say what I think is going to happen because LAST time i did that, I was WAYYY to fucking close to being correct. I mean, i was in the back of a police car for goodness sakes.
So um, I'll lie and say I think I'll find a winning lottery ticket this weekend.
if i do, you all get cars.
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| still a little bit of you laced with my doubt. |
[26 Sep 2005|03:50pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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damien rice....no wonder im all dreary. |
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this was the most insane and out of control weekend of my life. not in a good way.
thursday-
- drank at tracys.
- drank at meaghans.
- drank a fucking truckload at the bar because ken doll likes to keep his woman highly intoxicated.
- blacked out.
- apppppparently..on the taxi ride home, some fucks from chi delta pi were talking about sigma pi and i went off the handle. wifey tried to be calm and diffuse the situation but we all know im a little irrational when wasted. and my friends, i was trashed. come to find out that they spray painted cars and the pi house.....so yeah . not cool.
friday-
- meaghans/amandas birthday party....got belligerent again. (notice a pattern here?)
- went to taco bell. bitched a tracy. she left and walked around mt. pleasant and what do i do? i call her and leave a voicemail asking what she wanted to eat. i OBVIOSULY didnt have a clue what was going on.
- went to r.j.s and listened to van play drums.
- passed out in r.j.s bed around 5 because its almost as comfortable as mine.
saturday-
- meaghan calls me at 830am to pre-tailgate drink.
- you better believe i was over there drinking in rjs boxers and the tank i wore the night before and wanted to just tailgate in that.
- went to drink at the pi house.
- got to tailgating and dont remember a fucking thing. apparently i talked to everyone i knew and had some pretty awesome conversations.
- BLACKED OUT.
- THE POLICE CAME....surrounded me of all the damn drunk people there.
- yeah still dont know what happened with that because ive been to scared to call.
- but i DO know that they took me home.
- tracy was at her apartment (duh). we fought. i dont remember it. i passed out in her roommates bed until 1030pm.
- got up and got ready and went to the phi sig house and got trashed again.
- had a decent time there...pretty small because their bid day got fucked up.
- r.j. called me to corn fight and now i wish i had.
- passed out in copper beech. the end.
damages done by this weekend :
- broke my cell phone screen so now i cant see anything on it.
- lost my camera- im most upset about this one.
- lost money
- lost my brand new sweater i just bought.
- probably have a "public intoxication" ticket waiting for me.
- had to marriage counsel with the wifey.
i have until thursday/friday to piece my life back together because its wifeys brithday this weekend and yes...i will be there.
**i cant afford to make the same mistake again**
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0noelle0's journal
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